I HEARD SOMETHING the other day which genuinely horrified me, and I want to take a little time to try to spell out the implications as clearly as I can. It’s a bit subtle and wonky, but I think it will be worth the effort, so bear with me for a few minutes. First, I want to speak about nouns. I know, I know—nouns? Really? It’s OK, just get yourself a coffee and you’ll be fine.
I’VE SEEN A CERTAIN Mesmeric Revelation several times in the last couple of days — from Mystification McConnell, of course, and Ron Paul’s Lovely Blonde Wife, and Genius Christian Jerry Falwell, Jr. and the Lovely Blonde Laura Ingraham, and Tom Cotton, The Raven-haired Bobble-Throated Slapdick from the state of Alabama, and three or four others (Including The Business Man) whose collective IQs do not warrant inclusion even among these offensive Oval Portraits. I confess it caused A Loss of Breath. Among other things.